The care has been excellent. I’m in line for the CAR-T Cell Therapy at Glasgow. In view of this latest treatment for cancer, hygiene is given utmost importance. My room is self contained with the bath attached.
This morning I arose a little late as I was in pain .
As a result, my morning routine changed . I had breakfast and then proceeded for a shower. I was surprised when the nurse called out a little later,
“Turn off the shower.”
“I’m ok “ I replied , thinking that she came to help me .
Again she called out with urgency.
So I hurriedly wrapped the towel around me with some soap still on myself.
As I opened the bathroom door I saw a pool of water in the room. Water had also flowed out into the corridor .
Most embarrassing: three nurses were helping to swab the floor.
I asked them apologetically , “ How do I continue to shower?”
“ Turn the shower towards the wall.” was the response . ( apparently this had happened before)
So the next time I will have to go into the wall !….I chuckled to myself.
Solution : a mason or plumber required to channel the flow of water into the drain .
Some think , the nurses may have to wait for a good length of time before that happens.
In the mean time here’s advice to all including me “turn off the shower’ and save water !”
I’ve always been an avid tennis lover – Playing the game and following it too.
We have seen some great tennis players over the years. Among them I had favorites like
Roger Federer, Rod Laver , Boris Becker , Bjorn Borg , Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi
The intensity of Rafael Nadal surprised me as I thought he would fade away as a result of the way he played. Kudos for his disciplined approach to fitness which stood him well.
The biggest draw at the peak of his career was John McEnroe. The red band and the fiery temper had been a unique pattern of tennis on court .
This caricature by Ian my son in law, surprised me as it linked the famous McEnroe to me . My tennis cannot be compared to him though at some time in my younger days I could compete for being very short tempered .
Those days we played with normal racket heads whereas times have changed . Today the large head is an advantage not to forget a head that is tough and talented .
So cheers to Ian for helping me reminisce the past, when great tennis rivalries continued over the years.
I eagerly wait to get back on court and enjoy a good game.
You may have heard that cancer is curable. But you need to know that inspite of good medical research and care, the cancer can return. My type of cancer was considered the milder one. In 2019 I went through 6 sessions of Chemotherapy, from January to April. There was a gap of 3 weeks between each session. There were some bad side effects and that is the time I found solace in prayer and importantly others praying for me. God gave me courage and grace to endure and by June 2019 I was cancer free.
This led me to think that I now needed to lead a full life and make the most of the extended time given to me by the Lord. My children arranged for us to be with them from August until November, partly in Dubai and the remainder in UK. Anjean and I were overwhelmed with joy to be with them. I did a lot of travel, and met so many of our friends, community members and family. I even got an opportunity to play tennis, which I had not done in the past 25 years.
However on my return to India, in December I was diagnosed with a mild relapse of cancer. So after a round of investigations I was given 6 sessions of radiation . The subsequent report was good,
Then in April suddenly I saw some nodules on my right arm and shoulder. My doctor sent me for a petscan and it showed that the cancer had spread to 4 different areas. I was shocked. Over and above the shock, I was given to understand that Non Hodgekins Lymphoma is generally curable; but if it returns , then I fall in the category of 40% where it will not be cured. So this left me quite stunned.
Then began the chemotherapy at end of April, which was given in two parts ….a full day session and a half day session to complete one cycle. I was scheduled to take 6 complete cycles. Again I saw the provision of God in my finances through family, friends and medical insurance. By June 2020, I was again given a scan which showed an all clear report. My doctor though recommended that I complete the 6 cycles so that the treatment dealt with the cancer thoroughly. This last part has been very painful and I have had bad side effects. Constant Diarhoea and inability to retain a normal meal. Anjean has been rock solid with me at this time to standby me, praying and looking after all my needs…truly an angel to me as her full name is really ‘ Maria dos Anjos’.
I am grateful to my children, who have been doing their best , even though so far. They give us the feeling as if they are with us, with their numerous phone calls and even zoom meetings to pray together.
I specially acknowledge a good neighbour Hansel Baptista. He has gone out of his way to help to take us to and fro to the Hospital for these sessions. Hansel has become like a family member to us, in the absence of our children. Likewise Ben and Sandra, have always been ever ready to help us at any time ( we specially appreciate the times of intercession) . Aroon and Elaine from our Community and neighbours Avina and Carmen have made special efforts to reach out in significant ways . The call to pray from current community leader Eugene Peres, via telephone network of members, before every chemotherapy session has been a blessing.
Yes , prayers from my own Community of Jesus and Communities in India and all over the world, specially London, Glasgow and Dublin and Manila, and the Brothers from the Servants of the Word, have sustained me with courage and grace, to live a life fully. The Lord’s presence is sufficient indeed. Romeo Fernando and his team of intercessors from the Community of the Good Shepherd have been consistently praying for me.
Finally I acknowledge Fr Nigel Barett our Parish Priest from Our Lady of the Rosary, who made a special effort to bring me Holy Communion on a few occasions when I needed the Lord so much.
This has set me thinking about a lot of things.
Did I seriously think that after the first round of treatment and being cleared of traces of cancer that I will not get it again.?
Did I ever realize that many caṇcer patients suffer much more than me.
Am I aware that I have courage and a positive approach , only because this comes from the grace of
God and that many people known to me and even not known are praying for me?
What am I going to do in the months ahead? How will I respond to a God who loves me so much?
Finally , should I not accept that the final call can come any time irrespective of all the medical treatment I receive ?
So this second round of cancer relapse has helped me to realize and relook at life.
Importantly it is a reminder to me that my life on earth is limited. It has given me the assurance that whatever happens, as long as I live now…………
‘If we live we live to the Lord ; and If we die, we die to the Lord , whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.’ ( Romans 8:14)
We visited London on a few occasions . On one of these trips Anthony Bull hosted Anjean and myself. Our daughter Larissa was single and staying with the Bulls ōver the past two years.
Anthony ānd Julie have a loving family . They are active in Community life . Their interests are varied . Anthony is a senior professor in Imperial College. He is a sportsman at heart and very fond of rugby. His keenness to keep fit results in him riding to the college on his bycycle.
Julie is an engineering scholar. Students of maths have benefited from her proficiency in teaching this subject. She has a passion for pottery and I was impressed to see some of the crockery in use, which was her handiwork. They have 3 very accomplished children.
Our stay was short and sweet. But some interesting memories still linger.
On one of the days the assorted cookie jar was kept for evening tea . I think those cookies were one of the best I’ve had, of different flavours and most enrobed with chocolate .
Now when the home members had left for work, next morning I began to feel the pangs of hunger by mid-morning. Visions of the delicious cookies came to mind. I searched for the jar and then helped myself to a few.
Later that evening , when all returned from work, Anthony enquired “ Lets have some of the cookies”
Wonder of wonders ….the level of the cookies in the jar had reduced considerably .
You can imagine how surprised we all were.
Where did the cōokies disappear… I looked āt Anthony, and saw a faint smile appear …..
“Can you guess who ate the cookies?”
Anthony shared some interesting aspects of his life. His interest in sports led him to work on the study of the cricket bat dimensions . His research on this, led to the standardisation of the bat, based on his inputs. His efforts on standardisation of the tennis racket however did not progress as those in authority did not accept his inputs. The result of this shows today , as tennis players use rackets of various dimensions and materials, which may not heip in keeping a level playing field.
I was very impressed to hear Anthony’s story of how he met Roger Bannister the famous athlete who was the first to break the sub 4 minute barrier for the mile.
Lastly I remember their pet cat , Tiger. He adopted them rather than the other way around. Tiger had occupied the premises before Anthony and family had moved in and begun the renovations . Tiger too became a friend and even posed for pictures.
We were grateful to Anthony and Julie for hosting us, but importantly that Larissa had a home to stay during these few years.
It was lockdown time since April in London due to the Covid 19. Here again Anthony and Julie were a big support to Larissa on her wedding day 21st March 2020 .Larissa wedded Lloyd in a quiet ceremony with only a dozen guests present in the church. We had already returned to India in November 2019. The plans for an India wedding did not materialize due to the corona virus pandemic.
Anthony has been very active in raising awareness of Mental Health and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Through challenges on Facebook, with the pushups , it certainly gives hope at these times of the lockdown and social distancing. Thank you Anthony for this initiative with your brother Andrew, and getting so many involved.
We know that even though Larissa and Lloyd are now settled in their rental apartment, they do have a family who will always reach out to them.
Who knows , on our next visit we may see some more cookie jars.
These are some memories of my wedding with Aṇjean, on 26th May 1985. Naturally, our 4 children missed this wedding. They have now grown up and spread their wings to other countries. This blog is dedicated to them.
The miracle of answered prayer : much before our wedding date was finalised, we surveyed the Mumbai venues for our wedding. We may have gone for the Catholic Gymkhana venue which was the most convenient for wedding receptions. However Anjean surprised me by suggesting the Air India roof garden. The AI head office was my work place. It was certainly not a venue for weddings . Her response was you make the request and I will pray to Mary Help of Christians . On tenterhooks I approached the Director of Administration with the request , and I was stunned when he acceded to it.
Which is more important ….the bride or the car: the bridal car was supposed to leave from Mazagon to ṭhe bride’s location at 3pm . Till 3.15pm the car had not yet left . Under great stress, I went out to check on this, and then the famous words spilled out …”Which is more important the car or the bride?” On paper the question seems an innocent query, but it was expressed in a tone which made the decorators (my close family volunteers) quell at such anger, and the car was despatched immediately.
Arrangements at the reception venue: since this was going to be the first wedding reception of the kind (Catholic wedding : a celebration of dinner with dancing) , frequent phone calls kept coming home to me. How do we set the tables? The table cloths are flying with the wind. We want additional manpower. Why? Because the regular catering staff wanted to join in the celebration. I was so exasperated that I decided not to answer any phone calls. In those days mobile phones had not yet existed.
At the St Anne’s Church: Anjean’s favourite colour showed in the pews which were tastefully decorated with yellow flowers, specially done by Mother Teresa’s nuns. My cousin Blossom and her choir were ready in advance at the church.
We had three priests celebrating the Eucharist. Fr Juan ( St Anne’s) Fr Hillary Rodriques ( my spiritual advisor) and Fr Matthew ( Nagpur) . Fr Hillary’s homily on Luke 1: 42 , “Nothing is impossible to God” stayed with me for many years of our married life, and helped me to grow in surrendering any difficulties to the Lord.
Air India Nariman Point : Our entry at the roof garden was so dramatic. It gives me goosebumps as I remember the 7th Galaxy band striking up the grand entry of the bridal couple with the tradional tune …. Some flashes of memories come to my mind. The fast lifts at the AI office was a treat for the young children who were bold enough to take the lifts to the uppermost floors (22nd) and back. My little nephew Adrian was covered with powder as he enjoyed rolling on the dance floor.The 7th Galaxy belted out music, even more enthusiastically when they recognised some of our guests from Goa . There were Beatle songs and also the Portuguese medley to bring everyone into the mood. Talking about moods, well a lot of gifts came in through the security gate by our guests from Goa, which also helped a good deal in raising the spirits : these contained mature and good wines and spirits carefully gift wrapped. My Dining Facility Staff joined in the wedding celebrations with gusto. They were also given a share of the spirits that were sneaked in.
The reception ended with group photographs taken for memories.
Finally the time came for us to move to our new home in Matharpacady. I did fairly well in carrying my bride Anjean over the threshold . But then we both climbed the stairs together helping each other as we progressed with family life.
Karen , Annalize , Ralph and Larissa , may you treasure these little anecdotes of your parent’s wedding.
Photo credits: Subodh Amin
( pictures taken on regular film, and later copied by digital camera)